Widowers Web

I have recently reflected on my experience with dating in the months since Cassidy passed away. There are a few considerable differences from dating when I was younger. First of all, dating while young was often just for fun and was a way to learn what attributes you like or dislike in a person. Dating…

Suicides are investigated as homicides until the facts prove there was no foul play. Because of this, the police took as evidence everything that directly related to Cassidy’s death, and everything that was on her person. The one thing they had that I really wanted back was Cassidy’s phone. I won’t detail here everything they…

As I write this post, I have the pleasure of being at my Uncle’s lake house in Northern Idaho. While I still have to work, working outside on a second floor balcony overlooking a lake is certainly nothing to complain about. As I work I can look down at the dock where my daughters, nieces,…

My oldest daughter recently came back home from college. As she was setting up her bedroom she was cleaning out the hall closet. I was working in my study as she was doing this. At one point she came into the study and said that she found something that might make me cry. She wanted…

I have been doing pretty well most days. Every now and again, however, I have what I call a mourning day. Some days I’m just sad. Remembering the good times. Regretting that there won’t be any more of them. And missing what might have been. For the first few weeks after Cassidy passed, the mourning…

I spent some time at the cemetery after my last post. I enjoy going there because it is peaceful, beautiful, and calm. I don’t feel Cassidy there anymore. I don’t feel hardly anything there. It is just a place I can go to be alone outside, play my guitar, and think. I thought about the…

After my last post, I was reading my Bible in the evening and had a fully-formed thought enter my mind. This, for me, has been an indication that God is speaking and I best listen. Of interest is that what I was reading in the Bible was 1 Kings chapter 18, which is the story…

Tomorrow marks two months since Cassidy died. A lot has happened in those two months. In some ways the pain is muted enough that it feels like forever ago that she died. Many of Cassidy’s possessions have been removed from my home, having kept only those things with sentimental or historical value. And the mood…

Those who know me well know that I love the Bible. In particular, I love the Old Testament. I bring this up only because my brother, when talking to me about eventually dating again, quoted Genesis 2:18, which states in part that “It is not good that man should be alone…” I understand that principle. In…

This time my title is only partially clickbait. I have not seen a ghost, nor had strange paranormal experiences, but I am being haunted. That being said, this post is quite graphic, so use discretion (Emry, don’t read this one). I need to write this to get my thoughts out, but I strongly recommend nobody…