Widowers Web

Three times in the weeks since Cassidy died, I have had very vivid dreams about her. These were dreams so real, I could have sworn they actually happened. I will tell you about the one I had today. After I got off work I took the dog for a walk. My daughter was at a…

I am being constantly torn by contradictions and mutually exclusive drives. The last six years with Cassidy were impossibly difficult. If you would have asked me the day before she died, I would have told you that ‘happily married’ was an oxymoron. It seemed the two words were mutually exclusive. I truly love Cassidy, and…

I have a Master’s degree. I bring that up only to point out that I have had to take final exams many, many times. Typically, I will spend the weeks leading up to finals staying up late studying, reading, and preparing for the test. I have the ability to focus intensely and have always done…

I feel bad for my youngest daughter. She is 13 years old and the only child still at home. This poor girl has to live with a boring old fat guy. Most days, I can tell that she needs interaction with more than just me. The women at church have been wonderful. Several have taken…

First off, please excuse the clickbait title and let me tell you a story. The day after Cassidy died, I was staying at my brother’s house. I couldn’t sleep, had no appetite, and was quite restless. I just needed something I could do to get my mind off of the turmoil my life was in.…

There were two events which demonstrated to me how much my social standing has changed. The first was about two weeks ago, and the second was last night. When my siblings and I were visiting with my mother before she passed, we had the opportunity to connect with many people we have known over the…

I got home from my mother’s funeral yesterday and have spent the day today getting my house squared away. I had to leave to be with my mom before she passed followed by my mother’s funeral immediately after Cassidy’s funeral (I would recommend people not lose their wife and their mother within a month, it…

June 8th, 2022 If you’ll allow me to deviate from the stated purpose of this blog briefly, I have been dealing with another life issue which has complicated the process of grieving Cassidy’s passing. Shortly before Cassidy died, we were informed that my mother had cancer. A few days after Cassidy passed we learned it…

Cassidy passed away on Wednesday afternoon, May 4th, 2022, but I didn’t find her until later in the evening. Later that night, as I was lying awake in a bed at my brother’s house, I started to think about the things I needed to do. One of those things was to tell my boss what…

Cassidy struggled with her health for the entire time I knew her. But it was only the last six years that were really, really bad. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but this wasn’t just run-of-the-mill depression. Cassidy’s mental illnesses left a wake of trauma in the family that we are all…