First off, please excuse the clickbait title and let me tell you a story.

The day after Cassidy died, I was staying at my brother’s house. I couldn’t sleep, had no appetite, and was quite restless. I just needed something I could do to get my mind off of the turmoil my life was in. I just needed a few hours to think of something else. Anything else.

I didn’t have my car with me since my brother had picked me up, so I asked him if he could drive me to a store so I could buy a Lego set to distract me. I have loved Legos my whole life. He said he could drive me but it would be a little while. My nieces and nephews heard that and immediately set to work. They took one of the Lego sets they had assembled and meticulously took every piece apart. They brought me a bin with all the pieces and the instruction booklet. I was touched by that simple yet profound gesture.

Despite my having little interest in building a Batman truck, it was a wonderful distraction and gave my mind a few hours of peace (even though a detective came to talk to me in the middle of the build). In the weeks since then, I have been too busy to build any other Lego sets, but now that I have some time, I have decided to buy another really expensive European designer drug…

As I strive to create a new normal tomorrow, I plan to use this drug as a distraction and a way to mentally rest from grieving. In all honesty, many widowers turn to alcohol or drugs to smother the grief. Substance abuse is a bad idea and will not lead to anything good. I encourage you to find something that engages your brain in a creative and productive way. This can be a healthy distraction and a needed respite. Even if cocaine is cheaper than Lego, I still think Lego is a better drug.